Black and White

Years ago I climbed over the fence to get to a party, throwing myself onto the ground behind the stage into unknown darkness, then got up quickly, brushed off the dust and blended in with the crowd and danced until the early hours of morning. My excuse for ignoring the official entrance was that I was skint and I desperately wanted to go there, so I was just out of options. Wouldn’t you have done the same? (Please don’t say ‘no’!)

My behaviour has changed a lot over the years though. Last Thursday I went to a gig in London and I had purchased (actually my friend had) tickets quite some time ago. My worry beforehand was – what time do they finish? – shall I make it to the last train to get back home? I made it and actually even to an earlier one! Although I did arrive at home late, when it was already past midnight. What a night! (It really was. It was fantastic performance! I could have repeated that the next night… or maybe the following one instead, after some well-needed rest).

This kind of behavioural change isn’t due to moving to the UK, it’s just me getting older and not being able to sleep in the next morning. But I have noticed a tendency that I’ve picked up in England – I put less effort into what I’m wearing when going out, either to the theatre, concert, club etc. I didn’t even remove my coat the other night at that gig, so basically I could have worn anything underneath that. My (deceptive?) carelessness might be caused by the exhibition opening I was invited to quite at the beginning of my life in the UK, because I was well overdressed for the occasion, wearing my graduation dress (which I then had to have covered by a simple black cardigan for the whole night to look a bit more casual).

In olden days (my early school years) it was simple for the children. When there was a celebratory assembly at school all you had to do was put on a white shirt and black skirt. Always the same, an outstanding look. Later day though when I was older (a teenager who was in the midst of finding her own style) I once decided to wear almost everything red but it appeared to be a bit unfortunate choice. I remember it now as not-the-best-day-of-my-life, because of someone’s whispered comment: “Communist!” That was an utmost insult and it’s obviously still haunting me.

Nowadays it’s quite difficult to wear the same combination of black and white clothing as it feels exactly like being a school girl again and on my way to perform at the assembly (unless you knew me then, you probably wouldn’t believe what a performer I was back in the days, all these poems I recited and songs we sang. Looking back to it now I do feel sorry for all the other kids who saw me standing up in front of them again and again and again… I’m truly sorry!).

So unless it’s stated otherwise I think I keep it simple and casual… but never know as there is also this dreaded day coming up in spring/summer season when I’ve promised to wear my own-made clothes…

No additional comments needed to that…